It was like she had no conscience, or need for one. She had made it crystal clear that she was Jack's...plaything, she had said. She was free to love, and make love, because she was owned, because she knew that she belonged to Jack and he would make the call, she would always be under his control.Jack had allowed her to, ah, spread her wild oats because he had complete confidence she would come back...he had her tethered.Jack, and I, didn't need to worry about her heart. She could give it to me, in all honesty, because she knew I wouldn't try to claim her for my own. Because she belonged to Jack, and Jack belonged to her; and because I belonged to Siller, and Siller belonged to me. Not in the same way; not as chattel, or plaything; but belonging, just the same.Siller was mine, but he was attracted to Vanessa, of course! He was normal, and male, and Vanessa was indeed beautiful, and, as I knew only too well, practically dripped sex. I had said she was cute, but not gorgeous. I realized. If Taylynn's boyfriend could have kept his hands out of her sweatpants, and stopped making her squeal, I could have done more studying. They always found a way to get some sort of sexual satisfaction together without it being full blown while I was still in the room. I was actually glad he was with her. It stopped her from asking what was on my mind. When Monday arrived, I got out of bed, shaking. So many emotions ran through my head, my body just could not hold off the shakes. I thought a shower would calm me so I headed there. There were a few other girls finishing up and it looked as if I was going to be alone. I was glad. I would be able to free my mind even more. The hot water did the trick. As I towel dried my hair in front of the bathroom mirror, my head was clear and the shakes gone. I was ready for my new job. All I needed to do was dress and go. Professor Dubin was sitting in his chair, his back facing the door, when I walked into his office. He didn't seem to know I was.
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